29 DECEMBER 2023 WorldWide Drilling Resource® www.starironworks.com 257 Caroline Street Punxsutawney, PA 15767 800-927-0560 • 814-427-2555 Fax: 814-427-5164 SERVING THE WATER WELL INDUSTRY Serving the Drilling Industry See us at Groundwater Week ~ Booth 601 Is Anger Healthy, Destructive, or Both? by Tim Connor There are just two basic emotions - fear and love. All other emotions are degrees of these two. Let’s look at anger as an emotion which has its roots in fear. People express anger when they are: upset, frustrated, uncertain, anxious, hurt by another person or life in general, or often just confused. Many people express anger when they are really covering the deeper emotion of fear. In a relationship, when a person is angry at us, we have a choice of relating to their expressed emotion of anger or we can look behind the anger and attempt to discover what the person is afraid of that is being expressed as angry behavior. Most people find it difficult to see past the anger because it is so charged with negative words, feelings, emotions, or actions. Another way to look at anger is to see either its destructive quality in relationships and life, or see its positives. Let’s take a brief look at both. Anger can be an excellent way to eliminate stress, get hidden agendas out in the open, vent feelings of discouragement, pain, grief, or just old-fashioned frustration. Suppressed negative feelings or anger can have both short- and long-term negative effects on a person’s emotional, as well as physical, health. Most stress is related to withholding a variety of negative emotions. People often believe they will avoid hurting the other person or avoid conflict by keeping these negative feelings beneath the surface. Over the long haul, however, they can contribute to any number of emotional or physical ailments. Women are better at expressing anger than men. Women live, on the average, ten years longer than men. Think they are related? Unexpressed anger can be the result of a variety of personal emotional traits: the need for approval, need for love, insecurity, fear of rejection, guilt, resentment - just to name a few. There is a flip side to this issue. It is the impact of angry words spoken while in this fear state of mind. People often say things that sting the other person when they were only trying to release pent-up feelings. They say things which are really a reflection of their own internal unresolved issues rather than anger directed at the other person. Generally, most men are afraid of women’s anger and will do whatever necessary to protect themselves from it. This is unfortunate because angry women are not always angry at the man, but at some internal frustration. The same holds true for men. The real culprit here is not the cause or source of the anger, but in its delivery. One other aspect of anger, or any emotion we need to get into the open, is when we are angry, we are actually giving power over our emotions to something or someone else. In His service, Tim Tim Connor may be contacted via e-mail to michele@worldwidedrillingresource.com
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