11 FEBRUARY 2023 WorldWide Drilling Resource® Are You Spending Enough Time Together? by Tim Connor I once read a study about couples and the amount of time they spent together in “intimate sharing.” It stated the average couple spent less than 30 minutes a week in one-on-one, personal, intimate dialogue. If it was anywhere near accurate, it is a sad commentary on the quality of today’s relationships. (Keep in mind this was quiet time when not having sex, dinner with the kids, shopping, working in the yard, or whatever. It was dedicated “let’s talk” time.) You can’t build a positive, nurturing, loving, lasting relationship on 26 hours of share time a year. It is even hard to build a real, solid, long-lasting friendship in this amount of time. How are you doing? Are you spending more than one hour a week in personal, intimate, real, and vulnerable sharing with your significant other? If no, why not? Here are some common reasons why not: j You have no time. j There is an ego battle going on. j You are too busy. j There are too many kids. j One or both of you travel too much. j Either of you have too many friends. j You don’t like your partner. j Either of you have too many outside interests. j It’s not a safe environment to be vulnerable. j Either of you are under a lot of stress. j Either of you don’t listen well, or at all. j Either of you are always too tired. j Either of you don’t care about feelings, needs, interests, or concerns of the other. Are your reasons listed above? If so, why not take some time and evaluate them in more detail? If you can’t do it with your significant other, then at least do it alone and come up with your own reasons or causes. Relationships that work have shared understanding, feelings, unconditional acceptance, and a genuine desire for the other person to become all they can be. Relationships that tend to not work have any number of psychological games, manipulation, ego control, emotional immaturity, and selfishness going on. There are couples who spend very little time together and have wonderful relationships. For them, it isn’t the amount of time they have, but what they put into the time. These relationships are also uncommon. Time is a factor for most of us. We need time to understand, learn, grow, accept, and love. These don’t come easily or instantly. Make an effort today. In His service, Tim Tim Connor may be contacted via e-mail to michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com
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